True Love

MANSOON RAIN - CHAPTER 3

The feeling of homecoming is something that couldn’t be describable, The aroma of your home town, those narrow lanes, and that big “Kotha” standing in all its pride at the end of the lane, and this is all about Home, that is “Shantivan”.

Paying the driver off, when I entered into our kotha, there is a unusual silence in the atmosphere, something so creeping and deep, which usually leaves a feeling of something amiss amid of all the crowd and make you to wonder what there used to be that you are so used to it. Shantivan is used to be crowded all the time, My grandfather was a renowned person in our town back at his time, he was the only Graduate and bearing the tag of “Raj-gharana”, people used to respect him and saw him as leader. Even long after Grandfather, people show same respect that they used to be, now in this modern era.   

This makes me more impatient as I hurried towards main door. Madhvi, our prime cook’s daughter, who also works in our home, but very close to my Grandmother, as  she is the one who raised her after  her mother has passed away. She too is looking very dull today and even before asking indicated me towards Granny’s room.

Everyone are assembled there in Granny’s room and there is a unusual silence hanging in the atmosphere. It is that my Granny has lived a long time with her childhood then with grandfather, then us, and the rest of years that she has she wants to live as she used to do before without depending on others without medicines etc, but the age and health is not supporting her. So happen that, this time she fall very sick and have a urge to see me as soon as possible.

I guess! Age makes people more impatient and childish,

Seeing me, everyone have that mix kind of emotion on their face, but my mother and Granny, they are purely happy as if everything is normal. Both the woman are equally fond of me, I knew it very well that if granny wasn’t ill, they both might have taken whole house on their head in happiness. I still remember how both are very against of my decision of continuing career in abroad back at that time, it was father who supported me and at the same time made them understand too. Although I don’t how father did that, but my Granny has sulked over this for a long time warning everyone that they should bring me back soon or else I might choose some foreign Girl and settle there only.

Mother has taken me into a hug, with her all time crying and complaining of that I am neglecting my health etc etc, Mother’s are like these only, but then this feeling of home coming that I usually look forward to, everyone’s pampering, attention, no matter how old are you. Over and all this is the thing that make home more special.

Seeing her part of pampering and cajoling is taken by other family members, My Granny couldn’t control herself, she also made her presence known.

“Kousalya, I know Arnav is your son, but He is also my Grandson, won’t you let her come to me!”

My mother nodding her head, freed me . I quite don’t understand, even both the ladies love and respect each other, My Granny never leaves a chance to taunt my mother. Anyone would surely thought that both ladies didn’t like each other, but I know how much they both love each other, may be this is their way of showing love.

And Their unique relation of Mother and daughter.

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It is late in the night, but sleep seems far away from me, usually people take rest after a long journey but in my case things are quite different, I don’t feel sleepy instead I feel a type of restlessness. So here I am standing in my balcony, looking at the falling rain drops, listening to their song in the silent night, deep in some unknown thoughts that I don’t even realize until my father shook me out of it.

“I think I am right, when I choose to make two cup of coffee instead of one, you haven’t changed have you!”

My father is their forwarding me a cup, while we both sit in their silently for some time.

“ you know you are not obliged to obey us if your heart is not in it, we will understand , both the mothers will too.”

In the whole family My father, Rabindra Singh Raizada, is one who understand me too well. I am not complaining that no one does, in fact everyone does, but then father is someone who always understand my silence, my inner conflict, tries to solve the problem before me voicing it to all and always stands there silently like a pillar to the building, no expectation, no complaining, just doing silently what he is best at, that is supporting.

“no, it’s not like that . Even I want to, but don’t know how. Even if I do, then I don’t know how life is going to change after that. In fact I am not sure what I want anymore. ”

I know today or in coming days this topic is going to raise, in fact this is not the first time this topic has raised, but things are taking place too fast that, it is somewhat overwhelming. Coming here I got to know that my Granny and Maa has already selected two suitable bride for me, it’s not like I have any one in mind, in fact I am sure that whenever I am going to marry, it is through arrange marriage only, cause love is something that has somehow vanished from my life without me even realising. But then all the things taking place in a single day, first meeting her, then Granny’s illness, and then this!

“so you don’t want to marry now, may be latter?”

Everyone has to marry, one day or the other day, everyone is expected to do that isn’t it?

“Truth to be told I don’t know, I never feel the need of it.”

Hearing my blunt replay, father laughed, I just keep on staring him and wandering what is so funny about it, I really didn’t feel any need of it. You can say to have children it is essential, at least in India, yes , I agree, but then to only have children you have to marry is something that doesn’t feel right.

“you know Son, when I was of your age, nobody asked me to marry, it is something everyone does, it is what someone is expected to do. Unlike you I have not stayed awake analysing and reanalysing what should be the need of it? Our generation is much cooler and shorted don’t you feel?”

Father winked and me in the last sentence of him, may be our generation is really more complex than him.

“but then I married your mother, she is a that type of woman , whom I never expected in my life, nor felt any need, I just hoped for someone with whom I can adjust well, and in return she should adjust with my family too. But your mother with her charm and nature blended into my family, in my life so well that, now thinking upon your words, I never know such need ever exist in my life that she has taken place, may be she created it, may be it was always there until she come and make me realize, so in simple means you will never know until you try.”

Putting an envelope in my hand father left me with my thoughts with his  assuring smile, I can guess from the cover that what must be inside it.

For a long time I hesitate to open it, then assured myself that its just only the pictures not the real ones.

And then the first Photo that come in front of my eyes is something that I least expected to happen, after that I didn’t even dare to open the second one, keeping aside these in my drawer I thought it would be better if I sleep rather than wondering in middle of night.

After that I have slept off soon, may be the cause of this sleep is that certainty among all these chaos of life. Father is right , you will never know until you try, who knows that I will be so sure of someone else to bring stability in my life than myself.

But then it’s her! It is Khushi,