True Love

 what am I thinking?

It’s been long time; I have written something. But then I have to write something to keep this passion going. Thinking about what to write, I keep on making various plots but then as I always mention, to expect that something will touch other’s heart, it must go through the writer’s heart first. And here comes the most difficult question, at least I feel so,

What am I thinking nowadays??????

To make this question more difficult……………

What exactly I want??????

Is it about Career? Or Family?

Ohh! let me think……. is it Friends? Or Marriage?   

Career!! No matter what, I have to think about it, even if I don’t want to, what’s so new about it. Coming to the next, by God’s grace, being the second child I have the privilege not to think about it or to say directly, my suggestions doesn’t matter.

Then the things left are Friends and Marriage. Considering the current trend, I found most of the time thinking about these two. Well it’s obvious, when you jump from Facebook to Instagram, then to Whatsapp and then to Telegram in every 5 minutes.

With peoples posting about their outings, good selfies and of course the marriage pictures of this ongoing season. It’s quite exciting to go on a picnic with close friends and family, clicking cool selfies reflecting the inner joy. But then, the dirty pyjamas, messy boon on head, the fluffy blanket, a pocket of chips and a not ending K-drama is too much tempting to even move an inch from the bed.

Seeing the endless marriage pictures, those candid shots and the glowing bride, it’s too fascinating to get a makeup and pose for an ethnic look, of course in front of a good camera. The truth is, I tried once, with those minimum essentials I have with the expiry date long gone, in case to keep a check on my horrible makeup skills. But then the horrific story of removing those and the burn in the eyes, made me to swear not to do these type of stunt ever again. But I must say, every girl out there must learn how to do a decent makeup at least. Cause we are not in the era anymore where people appreciate bare face more than the makeup on.

See, I almost get off track, talk about makeup to a girl!!!!!

Coming to the point, leaving all these momentary flings, the question is what exactly am I thinking or want to do?

There was a time I had lots to tell, going through my old posts, sometime I, myself admire the old Me, how beautifully I expressed those feelings back then, which seems alien to me now.

Okay, self-appreciation apart, what exactly got changed??

May be the teen in me got matured at the mid-twenties, more than heart we started considering the logic, or may be more than ourselves we started thinking of other’s.

The Adult in me got so genius that she can smell the true intention behind every approach even if the approach made in a chat room, but still get fooled, or may I say too generous to show that she knew. I wanted to tell on their face that these things are too childish to do but then got so much patience, just to ignore and move on.

But then life is not always about 100% perfect. Even if I am mature enough to ignore them, not mature enough to keep myself unaffected. Even if I am using my words wisely, I am not wise enough to keep it to myself forever.

Then like magic, I realised, “I don’t want to be this kind of person”, these are my thoughts.

With each day passing, I want to love myself a little more than the previous day, I want to be such person with whom others can be honest than generous. And be able to let things and peoples go, without keeping any negative thoughts, when things are not working out.

With all these boring talks, I am now thinking myself as a great life influencer, with few grey strands of hair in the front and a big framed glasses, but still the immature part of me wandering what might be happening in the Instagram, whatsapp blah blah blah….. even though it knows that life in social media actually doesn’t change in half an hour. But still I will go and check it out.

Well every good thing take time, so will I 😉.

Before my writing got more boring, I want to say that, will meet you all soon with another thought of mine.

With love

Puspa 💖